Why is it hard to do the right thing?

In a world full of people where there are different values and cultures, sometimes its hard to fathom how each and every individual thinks and how they will react on certain situations.

But when we are faced with a decision.. A simple decision, how do you think we should react? In my simplest explanation, we have to do what is right and maybe because doing so will slowly make the world a better place to live in! Am i making sense? Haha!

I must admit, we Filipinos sometimes (or most of the time) doesn't follow the rules.. Like, we will see a bill post that says "Bawal Magtapon ng Basura" and yet we will see trash right below the sign, or something like "No Parking" but you will see a parked vehicle.. How in the earth can't we just follow a simple signage? Hmm.. Maybe because of convenience? Or maybe because we just don't care.

Why am I saying these things? I saw a simple sign and yet it was not followed -- why??? What is so hard to understand in this simple message? I cannot understand!


 So how do we proceed with faced with this scenario?

One can be, take it as it is -- pretend that you didn't see a thing and that you don't care and commit the same act.

Two, get the attention of the person involved and try to correct the act.

Or

Three, do the right thing and pray that the person involved will see how it should be done.

Being in that position (seeing a signage not being followed), it actually felt awkward but I was not brave enough to get the attention of the person.. This is not an excuse and I know I can improve in this aspect one step at a time.

I guess what I am trying to say is that..


--> If we want to change the way people values the world by respecting simple rules and signages, I truly believe that it starts from ourselves, slowly and sincerely. Because if in the deepest part of our hearts, we want to do the right thing then we will do what is right even if no one is looking!

Xoxo

Alice: You know how to surprise us!

Yesterday, Sweets and I got up early to start the week with full of enthusiasm and energy! We were both happy because driving going to work has never been that swift (because there was no traffic). 


Arrived CG2 at around 5:45am which meant we will not cram in eating our breakfast nor starting our work day. Then suddenly, after alighting Alice (this is our car's name) I noticed that Kuya guard was approaching Sweets. I thought that we were unloading inappropriately (which i doubt and I have a ready spiel in case Kuya guard will make sermon) but then we learned that we had a flat tire. 


This was our first time (at least for me and Sweets together) to have a flat tire on the road (luckily we were already in CG2).


With what happened, there can be many reasons why it can ruin our Monday -- but both Sweets and I have the ability to stay calm amidst the storm and thus we both acted the way we were expected to act.  Stay calm and fix the tire!

Of course, Sweets did everything because I didn't know how to change the tire but seeing him do the thing made me think that I can also do that! Haha!


For situations like this -- it's so easy to get angry or upset!
Like I can blame Sweets for not feeling a thing (on the tire) or not checking before we hit the road etc.  However, it will not help at all -- it will just ruin the moment and the energy spent in being angry might as well be used to fix the thing!


What happened is a reminder that we are blessed for three reasons:


1. We have a car to drive to and from the office
2. There are still concerned people to tell us that something was wrong
3. We have each other (Sweets and I) to support and cheer one another!


A situation may be negative but it is always up to us on how to look at it!
Waste our energy from negative vibes or heightened the positivity!
We have the capability to choose and so choose wisely! It's good for our health!


Xoxo

You are GREAT, wherever you go!

Last Wednesday, I was watching PBA (of course together with Sweets).  I saw that Paul Lee was playing and I can't help but say that he is indeed one of the best players out there.  With that I said:

KL: Ang galing talaga ni Paul Lee noh!

Noel: Uu

KL: San nga siyang team dati?

Noel: Rain or Shine

KL: Ah tapos now STAR na siya

Noel: Continued to drive..

Then I said:

KL: Kahit san ka man naroon, kung magaling ka, magaling ka! Noh!!

Sweets continued to drive and I can't decipher whether I am making any sense to him or he does not want to hear more about what I was trying to say!

To him, it was plain and simple a Basketball game -- and he is not even STAR nor Rain or Shine!  You should know by now that we are solid San Miguel Beermen.

My point is: We all have our starting point -- our basic education.

Then we are slowly molded to greatness by the organizations where we are.

Now, if we really have the capability and willingness to learn, deliver and perform at our best then we can be an expert in whatever it is that we are doing.  No matter where we are!

This is how I connected Paul Lee to what I am feeling right now.

Recently, Kat moved on to a new organization, I felt bad because I will miss how she handled me and my team and how grateful I am for the leadership and wisdom.  Kat is a great lead and I know she can share more to us -- had she stayed.  When Kat left, does it mean that she will no longer be a great lead and employee? Big answer is NO!  Because Kat is a great lead and employee with good work ethics and so I KNOW what wherever she may be -- in Accenture (much better) or in another organization -- she will definitely do well!

Same thing with my new lead, Mai.  She is a tenured lead and have been with Accenture for the longest time -- this is her new team but because I believe that she is a great employee, mentor, lead and colleague, even if this is a new team for her -- she will definitely do what she does BEST, which is to continue to LEARN (she is from Learning by the way :p), to DELIVER and to PERFORM!

To these two ladies! You both ROCK!

Do not be afraid to soar HIGH because you have a TEAM to support you all the way!

Xoxo

Featuring Mr and Mrs Spice!

 They say that the best way to start a relationship is look for someone who shares the same interest, someone who mirrors you in terms of what you like and does not like -- i cannot agree more BUT this is not the end of the equation!

I was in our kitchen and saw our spice bottles.. I called them Mr and Mrs Spice -- they are a couple but they have their own names. Mr Salty Spice and Mrs Pepper Spice.  What I am driving at is that both of them have their own qualities but they blend well together!

Like in a real couple, like me and my husband -- we have our unique selves, we are SMEs in our own fields but we blend well together.  They say we complement --  .  There are situations that we have consensus because we know that we will both benefit in our informed decision.  There's give and take because we do not want to take each other for granted.

We bring the best out of each other because we are not up for competition and we want to grow together as a couple and as an individual.



I am not saying that we are perfect but I know we are doing our best to grow our imperfect and crazy relationship!  We are an ordinary couple who shares struggles and laugh at simple things!


What's important is that we stick together!

If you are in search of your Mr Salty or Ms Pepper -- i would suggest to do self check and know yourselves more before sharing your gift to another! 


Xoxo

Listen to your Spouse!

By now you should know that my husband and I got married 7 years ago, but its only three months ago when we moved into our own place..


Feeling like newly weds is another story all together but this time i would like to share something about Listening and Trusting!


I know these are two "Big Words" and they are very easy to utter but equally hard to do. Why? Let's face it girls -- we just don't listen eh??!!


When we moved in, of course we have to do everything on our own.. Chores and stuff that lazy people (sometimes this is me) doesn't want to do. Like cleaning windows!


All my life -- i didn't clean any window because our windows ain't glass but now we are faced with a window glass and I know sooner rather than later I have to face this!


I have an intention in mind! I will clean the windows and I was so excited to do it. 


My first step was to go to Pinterest and search how to clean glass windows. I was delighted to see how easy it was..  I just need some soap, vinegar, alcohol, chamois and water! I was browsing and browsing and i didn't notice I was browsing for two weeks now and still haven't started to clean the windows!


Sweets said "clean the windows"
my response was "alright, I know how to clean it, i just need blah blah blah".


Another weekend passed:
 
Sweets:  clean the windows 
KL:         need to mix blah blah blah
Sweets:  Gamitin mo yang Sabong panlaba, gamitin mo ang sponge, then tuyuin mo ng dyaryo"
KL"         oh okay, kaso ung particles ng dyaryo dumidikit sa window
Sweets:   It means basa na ung dyaryo, need mo na siya palitan
KL:          Oh okie


Truth: i did everything sweets mentioned and this happened!
This was the glass window -- see how clear it was --
Btw, that's our small garden down there :)

As simple as this scenario I can say that I had to listen to Sweets and trust that what he is saying is true! It was indeed the easiest thing to do rather than procrastinate because what I saw in Pinterest was way too complicated than what i did!


My lesson is that: I may know things that will work but there are far more things less complicated that may work as well! The results are the same but the effort is less! Not only sometimes, most of the time, we have to listen to our spouse because we can definitely learn a lot from them!


Xoxo

Married Life: Our Roles

One of the topics when we attended the Before and After I Do Workshop was "I will 'ROLE' with it" and admittedly, this is the part that we have resonated very well and got me so interested because to me, knowing what our roles are in a relationship means we know what are expected from us.


Okie -- so after we got married, we called ourselves Husband and Wife but do we really know our roles is this thing called marriage?


In hindsight, we know what are expected from us as husbands and wives (well, because of what we see from our environment) but knowing is a totally different thing from doing.


So when I attended the workshop, it made me realize that knowing our roles will mean a lot to have a fruitful and meaningful married life.  That expectation setting is important so that there will be no surprises and that we know how to act.


Let me share with you what I have learned. 
These are not new but a good thing to know about.


Role of the Husband:


LeadHer = Leader = the head of the family, one who will lead his wife
LoveHer = Lover = to show in actions that he loves his family and his wife
ProvideHer = Provider = to be able to provide for the needs of his family and wife


These looked very simple but it is may be that very easy to do.


Look at how each word has "Her" in it -- for me it is very symbolic that our husband should be the one to help / guide / support their wives in their marriage.


Role of the Wife:


Help Mate
Help Meet
  -- we are here to work hand and hand with our husband and give our 100% support.


Before the discussion happened -- the group was asked to respond to one question "What is your expectation from your husband / wife" -- the responses were collated and what struck me is when one expectation from a wife is to be "submissive".


Being submissive, to me, sounds like a negative thing.
From the Urban Dictionary it means --

Kinda negative right -- but Manny was able to expound what it meant and it shed light to me.


Being submissive to your husband doesn't mean that you will obey everything that he says.  That if something or a decision is against your will, you will just obey.  It really doesn't work that way!


We are living in a world where women are equal with men and that both has their own fit minds to decide what's best or not.  When a decision is to be made -- it is the responsibility of the husband to be firm with the decision and be able to provide justification of the decision -- discussions should happen between the husband and wife, pros and cons are to be assessed then both will decide on what's best.  If in the event that the wife still doesn't agree with the decision, being submissive means, after the informed decision making, the wife will wholeheartedly support the  decision of the husband and work with him to achieve a certain goal.   Should the decision fail -- nagging will not work but both should pray to have guidance from God and decide further steps to take. 


What's important is that the the couple stick together in good times and in bad times!


This is enlightening to me and could not agree more!


Now, can the role change?? I would say it can -- but the standard remains and it would be best to take on what's expected to us as husbands and wives.


To me, a successful marriage is anchored from a foundation that both needs to play a role and how the couple is performing their roles -- no one can be perfect in their roles but if both are equally supportive, they will achieve more!


Xoxo

Our Before and After I DO Workshop

Last July 29 (Saturday), my husband and I were privileged to have been invited to attend one of the events in CCF, which was the Before and After I DO Workshop. We were invited by our friend, Arjay, who booked our day more than a month ago (Since being a married couple means chaos during weekends).

Friday night came and I wasn't so prepared. Prepared in KL's dictionary meant being able to prep my attire a week ahead and printing everything (registration things) way ahead. For me, it was something that I am prepared to attend but not so prepared to be super excited on what are in store for us (me and Sweets).

On the day itself, I was partly blaming myself for signing up for this whole day event because it meant less sleep for me and Sweets on a Saturday morning. Nevertheless, I didn't allow Sweets to notice that I was having second thoughts of attending else I am dead! I actually had to make arrangements with him because his weekends are really sacred!

Anyhow, even though we both felt this event will eat half of our weekend, we arrived at the venue at 7am (event was at 8am) -- talk about not being excited for the event!

It was our first time in CCF, good thing, when we arrived, there were a lot of couples already and right there I knew where we need to proceed. There was a registration table and as I start to notice the cue, what I thought to be a conference room setting workshop was false. Not being as excited as I used to be, I didn't notice that this was indeed a big event and the venue was at the CCF Multi Purpose Hall.

Right after registering we were given our table number (we were assigned at Table 12) and then we were given a loot bag with Before and After I Do print in it. Inside we have gift certificates and brochures (photography, videography) and the Before and After I Do couple journal (where I find very very useful)!

Before we enter the hall, there was a cue for photo booth and of course we indulged!

When we entered the ballroom, it was like, whoah! We didn't expect that the event was so huge! Tables were set up with center pieces and the stage was beautifully decorated with the event's theme. At the back of my mind, this is indeed a biggie event. My mind was then confused if this event is really applicable to us.

From Before and After I Do FB Page

We were sited together with other couples and we have our facilitator couple with us, Ms Gina and Noel Goco - talk about coincidence that Sir Noel and my husband shared the same name. I actually asked how we were identified to be part of Table 12 because the other couples that we are with have been married for like 10 and 11 years and the other one was preparing to get married.  Another thing, our table was strategic in such a way that its near the stage, the speaker's holding area and the exit (going to the washroom). While waiting for the event to start, there were brewed coffee and cookies (this is actually unlimited). 

Since we were early, there was an opportunity for some photo opps.

Little by little I was getting excited-- imagining how many couple can fit the ballroom and how interesting the topics for discussion will be!   During the course of the workshop, we were informed that there were 800+ people, almost half of the population are getting ready to be married, half are married for years with one or two couples having been married for more than 20 years and some single folks -- how diverse!

In summary, here are the topics --

From Before and After I Do FB Page

First Topic by Edric and Joy:

From Before and After I Do FB Page

My Key Takeaway:

Before plunging into marriage -- a couple should understand the reason behind being part of that sacred relationship.  It's not for happy moments only but a commitment that one needs to keep.

 

Second Topic from Manny and Lisa:

From Before and After I Do FB Page

From Before and After I Do FB Page

My Key Takeaway:
This is actually my favorite topic of them all -- simply because I was able to relate and see the beauty in it.  Don't get me wrong, i LOVED the entire workshop but this topic really stuck with me.  What I remember, it is the role of the husbands to be the:


LeadHer = Leader
LoveHer = Lover
ProvideHer = Provider

I don't want to further explain because it's pretty self explanatory.

For the wives, our role is to be the:

Help Mate = Help Meet for our husbands




It is also interesting to note about the LOVE - RESPECT Relationship.  That husbands should be treated with RESPECT, the same manner when the wives needs to be given LOVE.  This is a cycle and if done perfectly and seamlessly, will result to a great married life. :D

Third Topic from Peter and Jennifer:

From Before and After I Do FB Page

Their topic was all about Communication and resolving conflict:

Who said that "Effective Communication" is only discussed at work or in the corporate world?  Let me tell you that this is equally important or should I say a very important aspect of a successful married life.

My Key Takeaway:
Speak your mind but consider the timing! 
I am a very talkative person (my family and friends can attest to that)! Why not use this skill to make sure that we have a fruitful married life.  It is really important to communicate because our spouses are not Manang Bola where they know exactly what we are thinking about -- gone are the days (well there may still be some) where women don't speak their minds and wait until their partners figure out what they were fussing about -- for me, this is really a waste of energy.  Why not tell your spouse what's in your mind AND explain why you felt that way.  This way both of you can talk, discuss, agree and complement.

Fourth Topic by Jong and Monique:

My Key Takeaway:
Keeping ourselves pure is important and we can achieve that through marriage and with the help of our spouse.  Should there be challenges -- and there will be (because no marriage is perfect) all we need to do is to surrender ourselves to the greater Lord and everything will fall into the right place.

My husband and I were blessed to have this opportunity! It was really an investment for our marriage and from time to time its worth investing especially if is its for the better!

We've been together for seven years now and I can never say that we are a perfect couple.  Our married life may not be as bumpy with twists and turns as a roller coaster but it is not a walk in the park either -- what I am trying to say is that we also have our down times but I believe I can proudly say that we chose to be happy and to learn from whatever differences we have!

In my mind, i know that attending these types of workshops is really a MUST because although we know how to handle things -- it's good to be refreshed and re-familiarize ourselves with how things should be done in a married life no matter how long we've been married!

From Before and After I Do FB Page

My overall Key Takeaway -- continue to learn and learn together! It is really fun!
Most importantly, make sure that whatever it is that you learn from these workshops or seminars, you put into action!

Do not forget to Subscribe to hear more from me! :)

Xoxo

2017 is going to be GREAT!

Oh Boy! It took me three months to start my first blog for 2017 -- I have my excuses yes but I don't think they are all valid.


Let me open my first post by saying that "This year is going to be Exciting".


Why do you think I said that?? Let me tell you this -- in my years of existence -- yes 34 precious years in our world -- i have come to realize that we are one with the universe.  We are a tiny wink in the very large universe.  What came to my mind is that I do not control the universe and not everything will fall in favor of me and thus I have to live with it.


Let me share with you 5 things that I will practice so that I can say it will be a great year and why you should also follow suit (If you believe these things can apply to you).


1. I will acknowledge my feelings -- if I am sad then I will be sad, if I am angry then I will be angry.  What's important is how I will react after that feeling.  Remember, when we are emotional we tend to do certain things that we might regret a few minutes after.  So, when happy, do not promise and when angry, do not curse.  Stop for 10 seconds and do your breathing exercise, you will realize that being silent for 10 seconds will mean a lot.


2. Understanding that I don't have full control -- it is but normal that we will always want to get what we want.  But darling, that's not how the universe work! So to avoid stress by forcing the universe to be in our favor -- we need to be able to understand and accept that we cannot have everything and then make sure that we are happy and contented with what we have.


3. Be a believer -- how can we do this? I once watched a movie (forgot which one) and it talked about "HOPE" and it is where people got their drive to be strong and move on.  I trust that when we believe that things happen for a reason, we have a high chance of not giving up and this is always the way to go to achieve our goals.


4. Find contentment -- The key to real happiness and satisfaction is to be content with what we have. Yes it is not bad to dream about great things and great goals, they are all for free! But we have to be clear about what we really can do and achieve, we need to be contented and not ask for more than and beyond our means.




5. Share my blessings -- when you say "share" this is not limited to in-kind sharing or donating to charities.  What if I am not that rich right? Let me give you some simple things on how we can share our blessings. Be a listener to someone who needs a companion, be a teacher who needs guidance on your expertise, there are many things to share but for me this is the ultimate -- Share your time - to your family and friends.  This one will not cost you but you will gain relationship and memories that will last a lifetime.


How about you? What are your thoughts why 2017 will be a great year!!

Do not forget to Subscribe to hear more from me! :)

Xoxo