When I was in elementary, I had a lot of crushes and I thought that love letters and puppy love are the main event of a girl’s dream. When I was in high school, I envied my beautiful classmates who had their boyfriends. Someone who will take them out for a date, someone who will bring flowers and chocolates, someone who will wait for them after class and bring them home; again, these are mere dreams for me back then.
When I was in college, I thought that getting married was as simple as preparing for it. You prepare the church, reception etc and then everything will again be like a fairy tale with wedding bells, flowers and a happy ending. I have always thought that love is living in an enchanted world where everything are happy moments that will create happy thoughts and memories.
I have all these things made up in my mind as if everything was as simple as 1,2,3. I never have thought that 1,2,3 is up to gazillions. It is always not that simple.
When I was working and finally got engaged, it was then that I realized that starting a life made with love was not that simple. You will spend the rest of your life with someone totally different from you. You will share the same bed, bathroom, kitchen and everything else. You have to adjust and learn to swim your lives together. Everything will start when you finally made your vows in front of the special people in your lives and especially God.
I have been married for more than one year and I will not say that my marriage is a fairy tale or a nightmare! Getting married is having a dose of what you can offer to yourself and to your partner. Being the person that you can be without sacrificing the relationship; being committed without taking oneself for granted. It is a mix of everything blended perfectly through time! Just like a bowl of vegetable salad! Mix everything well and it will taste perfect but putting a lot or less of dressing will make it taste worst; let it stand in the fridge for days and it will be blunt. Everything is made perfect in TIME.
I cannot say much on how to stand a good marriage! I am just starting one. My inspiration comes from my parents and parents in law whose love and determination were already tested through TIME! However, knowing that they have survived all these years may not be that applicable to our time now. I can compare them to history books that I will read in a library (we do library researches if we need more olden times tested and proven researches.) What gives me more inspiration now are my friends and relatives who, after all these years of getting married and having a family, have withstanded it all and are still together!
Our friend Cecil and Zack have just celebrated their 10th Wedding Anniversary and I am so inspired and blessed to know that if they have reached that milestone in their married life, we can also reach that point. Reaching 5 years is a milestone already but 10 years is a WOW! For me, being married for more than a year means I can already tell that marriage is not easy! For Zack and Cil, reaching a decade means that they have experienced a lot already! Not to mention having kids, this is another responsibility that a couple should deal with and they have completely blasted it! They have 4 wonderful and healthy kids whom I know will grow up as responsible persons as their parents! I am so blessed to have known this couple (thanks to Sweets) their experience is something that I will always look up to! I know that we can always count on them!
Having 10 years of married life experience is something that cannot be bought from a department store, cannot be read from a bookstore. It is a combination of emotion, time, money, energy and your being. It is something that can only be learned through time!
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